July 2012
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casually-butts:
Tumblr is like a really big blue room and people walk around in white shirts covered in sticky notes and whenever you reblog something you’re just taking one of their stickynotes and slapping it on your tit and then walking back over to your friends like guys look at this
im slowly unlearning how to english
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mydogsmokes:
i dont wanna send nudes because it takes like 15 minutes for me to completely unroll and unfold my 17 foot penis and its just not worth it unless im getting paid
totallynotjaime:
it’s a saturday night.. HOW IN THE FUCK IS MY DASHBOARD DEAD. DID YOU GUYS SUDDENLY GET LIVES OR SOMETHING?
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: OH GOD
You: THE ANTS
You: THE ANTS
You: OH GOD
Stranger: what
You: OH GOD
You: HELP
You: HELP ME
You: THE ANTS
Stranger: what going on
You: ANTS
You: THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON
You: ANTS
You: MADE OF FIRE
You: FIRE ANTS
You: OH GOD
You: OH GOD
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: OH GOD
You: THERE ARE ANTS
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: And then I killed Batman with a shovel
You: Oh, I'm sorry
You: My last partner seems to have disconnected
You: Hmmm
Stranger: hahaha. wow
You: Quite rude, if you ask me.
You: Some people these days, am I right?
You: I take down the Bat himself and I get no respect
Stranger: you are right!
You: Not even my henchmen respect me!
You: Well, I do murder them if they slip up even a little
Stranger: you got skill (:
You: Their fault, though
You: They should do a better job
Stranger: yeah, totally!
Stranger: mhmm
You: Say, you wouldn't be looking for work, would you?
You: Dental isn't covered
Stranger: haha darnn!
You: Well, it is, actually!
You: Everyone deserves a smile!
Stranger: of coursw :D
You: I've got the laughing gas to prove it!
Stranger: course*
Stranger: hahahaha who are youu?
You: I'm not one for riddles, my dear. That's my colleague's field.
You: He looks like a pine tree, he dresses in green so much
Stranger: oh is it? well we couls always start with just a name :)
Stranger: could*
You: Here's my card: http://www.cellphone-wallpapers.net/Wallpapers/User/7513-Joker-card.jpg
You: Cheerio!
You have disconnected.
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: And then I killed Batman with a shovel
You: It was hard at first, but once he runs out of batarangs it's easy going
You: Oh wait
You: It seems my last chat partner disconnected
Stranger: You cannot kill batman just like that
You: Terribly sorry
You: Can't I?
You: You have no idea how hard the battle was
You: Who says I used the shovel throughout the entire ordeal?
You: Maybe I just used it to finish him off?
You: Ever think of that?
Stranger: Did you do it all alone
You: Of course not
You: Have you ever seen how strong Batman is?!
You: I may be insane, but I'm not crazy!
You: Wait...
You: Yes, I am crazy, I guess
You: But I'm not stupid!
Stranger: Of course!I ve played the game
You: What game?
You: I am a master of games!
Stranger: Batman
You: Batman has a game?
You: That sellout
Stranger: And I ve seen the movies
You: I've been committing crimes for years and not ONCE have I gotten a game!
You: This is BS
You: The Joker needs a game
You: I'm calling my lawer
Stranger: He is in the game
Stranger: Sid joker help you?
You: After I hire a new one (Last one didn't do a good enough job. Killed him with a crowbar)
You: Cheerio!
You have disconnected.
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This is the most fun you can have on Omegle, I...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl ?
You: And then I killed Batman with a shovel
You: Oh, I'm sorry
You: My last partner disconnected
You: I need to find him again.
You: Cheers!
You have disconnected.
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m 19
Stranger: hey there
You: OH GOD THERE'S FIRE EVERYWHERE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: GREETINGS
You: MAGICAL ELECTRONIC BOX
Stranger: i almost drown in that pussy so i swam to her butt haha
You: Let us have an intelligent discussion between gentlemen!
You: Oh, well, that was a futile effort
You have disconnected.
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: HELLO
You: WHY ARE WE SHOUTING
You: WHAT'S GOING ON
You: OH GOD
You: THERE'S FIRE EVERYWHERE
Stranger: WOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: I'M BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
You: SAVE YOURSELF
You: RUN
You: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN
Stranger: GRAB MY HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING
You: I CAN'T REAAAAAAAAAAACH
Stranger: BECAUSE I SET YOU ON FIRE...............
You: YOU DASTARDLY SWINDLER!
Stranger: D:
You: HOW MISCHIEVOUS OF YOU
You: YOU MASTER OF TOMFOOLERY
Stranger: SHUT UP OR I'LL POUR GAS ON YOU!!!!
You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
You: WHAT KIND OF GAS?!
You: NOBLE?!
You: HYDROGEN?!
You: WHERE ON THE PERIODIC TABLE IS THIS GAS?!
Stranger: O_O NERD!!!!!
You: IF I DIE
You: I WANT
You: TO DIE
You: WITH INTELLIGENCE
You: AND DIGNITY
Stranger: SO IM GUESSING YOU'RE A VIRGIN???
You: I'M ON OMEGLE,
You: WHAT DO YOU THINK?!
You: I MAY BE ON FIRE, BUT YOU JUST GOT BURNED
You have disconnected.
tumblr: u have 15 new posts on your dash
tumblr: i mean 3
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batreaux:
during a relationship, when is the appropriate time to watermark someone so someone doesn’t steal them?
trannykiller:
whatafuckinfamilypicture:
Call 911 and ask them how their day is going. They will appreciate it. Friendly gestures go a long way
N—NO…..
NO THIS IS TERRIBLE.
YOU ARE TAKING UP VALUABLE CALL SPACE THAT COULD BE USED FOR SOMEONE WHO IS ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE
HOLY SHIT
PLEASE
NEVER
EVER
DO THIS
sassy-gay-karkat:
thestrangernextdoor:
sassy-gay-karkat:
makes eggs because its the only thing i know how 2 make
you dont even make the eggs chickens do
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June 2012
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Dear people boycotting Oreos for supporting gay... →
palahniukandchocolate:
The following companies also support gay rights:
Allstate Amazon American Airlines Apple Applebee’s Best Buy Clorox Coca-Cola (which manufactures Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Fanta, Vitamin Water, and Dasani) Costco Delta Airlines Ford Gap (which also owns Banana Republic and Old Navy) General Motors Gerber Baby Products Hilton Hotels Home Depot IMB ...
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Someone at work wanted me to show them "the dark...
darthshadow:
So I texted her the link to Socially Unacceptable Art.
This is gonna be good.
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